This is a hard time for you right now, I can see that. You’re in a situation that you never saw coming. One that you had seen happen to many other people but you never thought could happen to you. And that’s a hard place to be in, but there’s something that you need to know…
You decide how things go from here. When all of the doctors are done, the x-rays are finished and the surgery is over; you decide what happens. The moment you exit those hospital doors, your life can go two very different directions.
On one hand you can choose to drown in the utter misfortune that you’ve found yourself in. You can let the feelings of uselessness, depression, and self-pity crush you. When people try to help you you can get annoyed by the pity you think they’re showing you, and get defensive when they offer to do things for you. My dear dear Katherina, you can sit and wallow and become consumed with anger and bitterness…if you choose to. I really hope you do not.
I hope with all my heart that you choose the other path. That you can rise above the waves of despair and to see this situation in a whole new light. You serve and serve and serve, and now it’s your turn to be served. People all around you care for you more than you know, but all too often you don’t give them a chance to show that because you don’t want to come across as weak. Well now’s your chance to woman up, dump the pride in the garbage and let other people serve you because they love you. You could see this as an ending to a part of your life that you loved, a part of your life that you won’t be able to participate in again for a long time. Or you can see it as a grand and exciting chance to grow; to push yourself in other areas and see how you can continue to serve others, even if it’s not from the back of a horse. You could see this as a brutal and abrupt ending, or you could see it as a beautiful and serendipitous beginning to something else.
I hope you have the heart and strength and humility to choose the second option. I hope that you don’t let this kill your spirit; but rather that it acts like gasoline on a fire, lighting you up and making you burn brighter and stronger than ever before. I hope with all my heart that you do let this change you…for the better.